


Killer Bond

by RavenxDancer



Category: Halloween Movies - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Self-Insert, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:53:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24948730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenxDancer/pseuds/RavenxDancer
Summary: After committing a crime, you are labelled 'dangerous and mentally unfit' and so it is decided that you would be sent to Smith's Grove Sanitarium, where Michael Myers resides. Written in first person POV, self-insert.
Relationships: Michael Myers/Original Female Character(s), Michael Myers/Reader, Michael Myers/You
Comments: 53
Kudos: 193





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fanfiction in about a decade but I love Michael >w< please be nice, but gentle pointers on how to write better are welcome, enjoy!
> 
> I wanted to write this in first person (I, my) rather than second (you) as tbh that is just an incorrect way of writing imo, so this is sort of an OC character but meant to be a self-insert, so the name/visual details are omitted so that it feels like Michael/You.

My eyes set unfocused on the grey interior wall opposite to me, seemingly outside of my body as the van I had not long ago been thrown into jostled me, chugging along through the evening rain outside. I was vaguely aware of one thing - a gentle drip drop sound coming from the roof and splashing next to my boot. A tiny leak, ever so slowly flooding the floor. Little things that did not bode well for where I was going - the leak, the lack of any seat belt, cuffs so tight they bit into my skin and a surface so cold my ass was going numb. Good thing I was barely aware to complain, too far down in my mind, miserable to the point of being completely absent.   
  


_How could it have come to this.  
  
_

I barely registered when the van eventually stuttered to a halt, the first thing to hit me being the flush of cold air against my side. Whichever words the driver and his consort barked at me went from one ear out the other. It didn’t matter. My body moved automatically, climbing out the back to follow their white-clad backs to where I had been assigned.   
  


Boring grey bricks and high steel gates. It didn’t currently register to me that I wouldn’t see the outside of here again for a good while. I shuffled along, ushered through into the notably warm inside. For that I felt an ounce of gratitude. Passed the currently empty front desk and winding down into a maze of sterile, white doors with thick glass panes spread across at eye level for observation. If I had been more myself, I would have glanced into each one out of curiosity.   
  


I almost stepped on the heel of the man ahead of me as he stopped, turning to wrestle keys from his pocket. They were more akin to a mass cluster of rust, snagging on his pants on the way out. Grumbling, he thumbed his way through them, trying to fish through for the identical key for the equally identical, white door in front of us. His consort, who had been idly chattering about something or other the whole step attempted to grab them from him after the fifth wrong key, but apparently his pride or whatever wouldn’t let him hand them over. It was distantly amusing to me as they began to argue, but laughter wasn’t something I could currently summon if I tried.   
  


By the time the door was cracked open, the first man was red in the face with frustration. Really, how hard was it to tape some numbers to the keys? I didn’t like how he next grabbed me by the arm, roughly dragging me inside. It hazily occurred to me that he was the same one who launched me into the van earlier. A short, portly guy with a moustache which puffed up at the edges as he spoke, I noted. Whatever angry crap he was spewing was overtaken by the other one, a lanky stick of a guy, who thrust a set of greyish white clothing into my arms and set about twittering about rules, what time things were done around here and blah blah blah. I wasn’t particularly listening, they would fetch me for whatever I’d be required for regardless, and instead turned to sweep my gaze over the room. It was almost laughable how typical it appeared. White, white, white. Especially the padded walls - so they actually existed outside of TV, huh? At least my new outfit would match.   
  


The lanky man finished his spiel soon enough, and so Tweedledee and Tweedledumb as Fuck left me to my new room, the sound of the key grating again as they locked me in. I hoped I wouldn’t be waiting around forever the next time they had to figure out my key. Dropping the new attire on the little single bed pressed up against the wall, I tentatively sat down, noting it was comfortable enough - just about. It alarmed me when a voice appeared over crackly speakers, set high up in the wall corner.   
  


“Lights out!”   
  


The bright fluorescent lights above me snuffed out abruptly. It took a few more minutes for the lights in the hall, visible from the glass panels, to dip into darkness also. Luckily, there were some tiny outside windows - high enough to be just out of reach on the padded walls - which spread some moonlight in for me to see as I changed. Unsure of what to make of the place just yet, I spread my new thin blanket over myself, trying to settle into a restless sleep. 

—-

The door barging open was what awoke me. I scrambled backward, knees up, backing into the wall, I’d forgotten where I was.   
  


_Don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me!  
  
_

“Oh, sorry to alarm you, this door can be a bit stiff. I’m Doctor Loomis and-“  
  


I shuddered for a second, trying to brush off memories and calm my breathing, but how could I, when this is where it got me? I’ve gone from one hell and into another and I can’t ever get out-   
  


“Are you alright, miss?”   
  


Wild eyed, I tried to focus on the man in front of me. Short, bald, another annoying moustache, but blue eyes, kind enough in appearance.   
  


_He’s gone, he’s gone, I’m fine, I’m fine!  
  
_

I nodded, curling my arms around my knees. I didn’t want to speak, not yet, I hadn’t since it happened. Words...got me in trouble. I’d probably break down if I spoke. I wasn’t ready to face it. Loomis didn’t try to make me speak, I noted, as if this was something he expected. Jarring as his entrance was, I figured he’d be somewhat acceptable to deal with, as apparently, he was assigned to me. He just needed to learn to bloody knock. I was still human, didn’t I deserve some warning, some privacy? Though, I suppose when you are deemed ‘not quite right’ maybe you aren’t seen as human after all. Glumly, I set my chin on my arms until Loomis set toward the door and I just about caught through my thoughts his request for me to follow him. My eyes travelled up to his as he stood patiently in the entrance. I didn’t particularly want to move yet.   
  


“There’s bacon for breakfast today.”   
  


Sighing, I trudged after him. I had no appetite, not really, but I suppose I had to eat eventually. I had to face what was here eventually. I’d probably be dragged out by force if I didn’t comply, at least that is what I gathered from the reputation of places like this. Up some stairs and away from the dungeon of padded rooms, I spotted others dressed in the same scratchy white fabric as I meandering in the same direction. So far, I hadn’t given much thought to the people I’d be in here with, my focus had been on what happened, what _would_ happen to me. Little jolts of anxiety swished up my spine. Considering what I’d done, others here probably weren’t so normal either - even by the standards of mental ward patients. They might even be dangerous. Though, wasn’t I, too? Half-glass walls lined a large dining area up ahead, set with long white benches. Holding open one of the glass doors, Loomis beckoned me forward.   
  


“Stay wary until you are familiar with the others. Most keep to themselves, but if there are any clashes, the guards will intervene.”  
  


That wasn’t entirely reassuring. He continued on a little, mostly repeating what Lanky had said about the timetable of things, and this time I paid more attention. As long as we didn’t cause trouble, he said, we were mostly free to roam the building, but I noticed how cameras and guards were in every corner. The underlying threat of what would happen if we didn’t act docile was there.   
  


I stepped inside, trying to see through the little crowd where I should be lining up. As I wound my way forward, a large man suddenly swiftly passed right in front me, a hairs’ length from bumping into me, a cold air following his speed. I skipped back a step, taken aback that I hadn’t noticed his presence at all. A giant of a man, easily past 6’4”, and I didn’t even sense his shadow. He said nothing to me, silently and nimbly zipping his way through to the other side of the canteen. I watched his wide shoulders and the shaggy black hair which swished past his neck as I kept going forward, falling into step with the food queue, noting how easily he made his way through, as if the others around him were opposite magnets, jumping back to make room. Strange.   
  


Looking forward for a second as the queue diminished, my nose distracted from the incoming scent of bacon, I found that I’d lost sight of him the next time I turned around. Gathering my loaded tray once my turn hit, I all but forgot about the guy as I hastily found a spot at the end of an empty table. The bacon was a little overcooked, but I didn’t mind, preferring the crispiness. Shifting my eyes over the other residents as I ate, I noticed how a lot of them appeared to be inside their own minds, not so much chattering to each other, although even here people had formed their own little groups. My eyes passed over one guy who habitually rocked back and forth where he sat, muttering - somewhat what I expected in here - and an opposite guy further along, loudly attempting to chat to a clearly unbothered guard. From what I could catch, he appeared to be on about some creature and how it was going to get him. Oh dear. Others had vacant stares and others unusual, nervous twitchy movements. An entire bunch of different characters in here.   
  


My eyes almost missed it when they landed again on the large back of the man from before. He was faced away from everyone, toward the wall, sitting the opposite way on his bench. Somehow, I felt as though he’d halfway faced my direction a second ago. He appeared to be transfixed on his wall, but I just had the feeling that he had eyed me right before I noticed him. My eyes travelled over his build. He had some rigid posture, making him appear even taller, and as if he were about to get moving at any second. As if he’d read my mind, he stood abruptly, marching straight out the nearest door.   
  


_Hmm...  
  
_

I soon finished up my bacon and the scrambled eggs which came with it, dropping my tray on the collection counter and then deciding to head in the direction he’d left. It wasn’t like I was particularly trying to follow him; I was going to go and explore that end of the building. That’s what I told myself, anyway. Looking about, I ended up finding there were more wings of dungeon bedrooms, all looking identical. Luckily, I’d taken note of which door number mine was - fourteen - so I could find my way back to the correct one.   
  
  
Heading back up from the fourth wing - apparently that was the total, making this place a lot bigger than I had realised - I wandered around until finding some stairs leading to a third floor. In there, I found various random rooms with little in them, perhaps therapy rooms? I wondered when that would start for me. Growing bored, I was about to head back down until I found some directions pointing to a library. A library! I didn’t expect that here. Books would alleviate some stress of being here. Somewhat happier, I rushed forward, finding that the place was almost completely vacant. Gladly, I ran my fingers across some heavier leather-bound tomes I found. Old encyclopaedias, but I was happy to see them. I always liked the look of these types of books. Moving forward, I perused the collection in the surprisingly large library, flitting through the various genre shelves to find something I would like to read. Further in, I noticed little armchairs in the corners to curl up in, and study tables in the centre. Sunlight streamed in from the furthest end and I moved forward to see large, ceiling to floor glass windows, several layers thick. Coming closer, I saw that they overlooked the outside courtyard and grounds, something I hadn’t thought about so far. Watching the little figures walk about below, I figured I’d explore there next.   
  


Just as I was about to look away, I felt the prickle of eyes on me. Glancing to the right, there he was, the same giant from before, looking dead at me. How did he notice me from all the way down there? Didn’t the sun cast a glare on the glass at all? I couldn’t quite make out his features from here, other than what appeared to be dark pools for eyes. Before I could squint to see a little clearer, he turned and marched out of sight. I instinctively lifted my hand to press against the glass but realised he wouldn’t hear from here regardless. It probably didn’t mean anything anyway, he maybe just happened to be looking this way. However, I was weirdly elated that I was seeing his face, albeit indistinctly, rather than his back this time. I wanted to see more.  
  


Turning back to the books, I less excitedly grabbed one which would do and found myself jogging down the stairs faster than I usually would. My legs burned a little by the time I found the courtyard door. Looking around curiously, I saw little white wooden benches scattered around the gravel space and greenery further along the sides. The metal gates lining them were topped with barbed wire, ruining the peaceful illusion. Circling around the building, I didn’t find the strange giant anywhere, though I did find a couple of looney tunes descending into a fight. Staying back, I observed as the two white-cloaked men from last night rushed in and cuffed the fighters, roughly dragging them away. Curiosity took over and I followed at a distance, needing to know what happens when we misbehave in here.   
  


I felt a prickle on the back of my neck again and looked up sharply, finding I was facing the library windows, standing exactly where he’d been. It turned out the sun didn’t entirely mask the glass after all, but once I looked, I saw no one - but I know they were there. Leaving that to think about later, I continued after the cuffed pair, keeping just out of sight. It seemed that the guards carried some sort of signalling device, as I observed a nurse calmly heading toward them, syringes in hand. The fighters cowered back a bit, stopping their struggles.   
  


“I mean, that won’t be necessary-“   
  


“I think it might,” the nurse curtly bit back.   
  


She promptly injected the two men, who slumped over, movements becoming sluggish as they were dragged away. So, they drugged them to calm them, huh? Was that the extent of it? I had to know. As I followed along, I noticed less and less of other people around, heading to an area I hadn’t entered yet. I was about to enter a new room after them when I realised the guards had swiped a key card to get through.   
  


“Can I help you?”   
  
  
I froze, slowly turning around. I was crouched down and realised I must look suspicious as hell. Any words I could have said died on my tongue as I realised it was another guard. I decided feigning curious innocence might get me somewhere. Pointing after where the men went, I tilted my head, giving big questioning eyes up at her as I wrapped my arms around my knees. She seemed to drop her air of defence a little at that, sighing. 

  
“They’ll be fine, they’ve been sent into isolation until they can calm themselves.” 

  
I nodded; puppy eyes still activated. Hopefully that’s all it was, but I didn’t like the sound of isolation regardless. 

  
“I haven’t seen you before, are you new? Let’s get you back to where you belong, shall we?” 

  
Playing along, I trailed after her, finding myself led back to the canteen. It was about time for lunch. She chattered one-sidedly to me kindly about this and that for a few minutes until I noticed Tweedledee and Tweedledumb AF coming toward us, apparently done with the captured fighters. The latter signalled for the female guard to come to them. She frowned but went to them as I slipped around the corner, keeping an ear out. 

  
“Don’t you know who that is?!” he berated her, not even being subtle with his volume. 

  
“Oh, she’s new, right? When did she get here?” 

  
“She’s the one from the news, the one who killed her-“

  
I rushed away, not wanting to hear it. Distantly, I could hear her gasp. She probably wouldn’t be so nice to me next time. Cheers asshole. I really didn’t like that chunky guard. I tried to blink back tears which I found pricked my eyes, almost setting into a run as I found my feet carrying me back upstairs. 

_  
I had no choice, I had no choice-_

  
Before I knew it, I’d found myself back in the library. Leaning against a shelf, I tried to steady my breathing, taking in the scent of the old books. I didn’t notice the shadow which crept past, their head tilting in curiosity before leaving. I spent the rest of the day curled up in a comfy red armchair, lazily reading the book I had chosen earlier. It had temporarily become a tad bent, as I had clutched it a little too hard when following the guards. 

  
Once the sun began to set, I nipped back downstairs for dinner, finding my appetite was a little more alive, then headed back to my room, knowing there would be a curfew soon. As I settled in to sleep, a little thought suddenly occurred to me. Perhaps I was just overthinking it, but what if that giant had lured me down to the courtyard on purpose, right as the fight broke out? What if he wanted me to see it, to know how things work around here? I didn’t know what it was about the guy that had him in my mind so much. I’d just seen him a couple times, that was all. But what if I was right? 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was stuck writing the end of this chap for a few days, out of laziness I guess xD but here it is!
> 
> Btw thank you for all the comments, guys <3 gimme moreee >w<

I was a bit more prepared for it when Loomis barged in again the next morning, shooting him a glare. Apparently, we were to start therapy today. Grumbling as I followed him upstairs, we headed to what I’d correctly guessed were the rooms for it.

It was a fairly uneventful session, no shock therapy or any other kind of nonsense, thankfully. Loomis tried to settle me in and make me comfortable. I still wasn’t ready to speak yet, so it was him talking at me and waiting. At one point, he tried to approach the reason I was in here, but I clapped my hands over my ears, I didn’t want it said out loud. He seemed surprised at that.

“You blame yourself, don’t you?” He asked gently.

I avoided looking at him but gave the tiniest nod. The session ended shortly after; the time slot was up. I went to open the door, still half-turned toward Loomis as he was talking about when the next time would be, only to find that the ‘door’ felt...off. Turning, I found my hand sliding across a hard chest as someone passed me, seemingly completely unaffected.

“Ah, Michael, you’re early!”

I could feel the heat coming off of them as they passed and I looked up just as their face moved out of view, showing me their back. It was _him!_ Instinctively, I stepped back as the door slowly closed in front of me with a soft click. I was stunned for a second, how did he just suddenly appear without my notice? No sound, nothing. But wait a damn minute, this guy just shut the door in my face? I found myself laughing then, the first real laughter - and even sound - I’d made in a while. Such nerve!

 _Michael_. So that was his name.

My fingers twitched, still mid-air. I tried to brush off the pink which rushed to my cheeks as I remembered how solid he’d felt, as if he were made of marble. _Just how ripped was this guy under that outfit?_

I mentally facepalmed for thinking that, I didn’t even know the guy, what was up with me? But right there I decided that maybe I should introduce myself to him later, it couldn’t hurt to make some allies in here after all. Not realising that I was humming, I skipped off to breakfast.

—-

The food in here was surprisingly decent, and this morning I enjoyed a pile of pancakes. I’d figured it’d be more like ‘prison’ food, although in prison the inmates would be the cooks - not like in here. We couldn’t be trusted with that, being ‘mental’ and all, so we had actual cooks. It was a small mercy, and I found myself warming up to this place. If I had to be here forever, I had to find the positives.

As I left the canteen, I noticed him - Michael - heading down the stairs at the far end of the hall. I prepared to rush after him to get to introductions, skittering forward, but a sudden grip on my arm yanked me backward.  
  
_How is everyone so damn sneaky in here?_

“Don’t you know who that is?!”

_That sounded all too familiar._

I was surprised to see that it was an actual inmate, my first actual interaction with one. Blinking, I found I recognised them from yesterday, the blabbering one who was on about conspiracy theories to one of the guards. I listened as they told me about Michael, not only of what he’d done but of how he never interacted with anyone, never even reacted...or spoke. I fell into my own thoughts. What kind of idiot was I to chase after someone like that, not even knowing a damn thing?

_Someone just like me._

_No!_

I tried to fool myself that here was fine, that it wouldn’t be so bad, latching onto the first thing which remotely interested me in here to distract myself, but the facts were that this wasn’t your run of the mill mental patient factory. I was sent here to sit among the worst of the worst, because it’s where I belonged. Even the seemingly harmless, jabbering rake in front of me must have done something bad. He kept on, the subject changing to other things, like the creature that he’d spoken of yesterday. I nodded gravely as he warned me of it, but inside I was beginning to question his words. What if it wasn’t true at all what he’d said about Michael? What if it was part of his paranoia?

“I know everything in here, but news travels slow. What did you do?”

I winced internally but smiled politely, nonverbally thanking him for his info as I backed up then jogged away.

“Aw, come on! I’ll know eventually!”

I sure hoped not.

I felt dejected. The one thing that actually caught my attention in here, and it wasn’t what it seemed. But after what I’d done…how could I judge, really? Glumly, I trudged up to the library, flopping into the same corner chair. Why did I care anyway? I was acting like some kid with a crush. I sank into the seat, leaning my cheek against my hand. I didn’t feel like doing anything at all. Sighing, I figured if I wanted things to be more bearable in here, I maybe should try to make some companions - but check out who they are first for next time.

_Check out who they are..._

My eyes landed on a little pile of newspapers which sat strewn on one of the far study tables. Would it be weird if I looked into what Blabby had said? Wouldn’t it be a bit like googling someone before a date? Instantly, I found that thought laughable. Date? That wasn’t comparable. I snuck over, not even sure why I was sneaking, but feeling as if I were up to no good. I shuffled through the newspapers briefly, but none had anything mentioning the guy, these were from recent news. Records would be in actual books. Reaching the last paper at the bottom of the pile, I almost flung it away. It was about me. I was right on the front page. My hands shook and I dropped it away from me, my eyes screwed shut. I didn’t want to see it. Focusing on the task at hand to distract myself, I backed up to the other end of the library, searching around for a history or records section.

Rifling through various books, it took me some time and I almost quit, not knowing where any of it would have taken place, until I stumbled across a book detailing the history of Haddonfield, a skinny little book which I wouldn’t have thought held anything important, but the name of which I vaguely recognised. _Haddonfield!_ Flicking through to the contents page, it didn’t take me long to find the Halloween murders listed. It all came back to me as I read. I had, in fact, heard of this before. As a child, spooky stories were told about this kid to kid, twisting it, of how a masked child would come and stab you like he did to his sister. It was all so long ago that I’d forgotten - and I was an imaginative kid. But it meant it was real - and Michael was the boy, now adult, from those stories. Placing the book back, I found that I felt more intrigued than scared. Though, after what I’d been through, it would take a lot to scare me...

On that note, I marched back to the table where the newspapers were. I didn’t want anyone reading that and knowing it about me. Thankfully it didn’t feature any photos of me, but my name would be enough for the fools around here to figure things out. About to grab the paper, I found that the table had quickly gone dark, was it sunset already? I frowned, but then I heard soft breathing behind me. _That_ wasn’t from the sunset. Panicky, I spun round, hastily plunking my butt onto the table, right on top of the paper to hide it.

_Did they see? Did they-_

I froze as I realised it was _him_. I was unsure of how to react, finding he was again faced away from me. Why? Why stand so close to me but not look at me? Was he trying to creep me out? Following his line of sight, I realised he was looking back towards the records shelf I’d just left. He _knew_. Glancing back to him, I couldn’t tell if he was angry or not. He just stood stock still. Slowly, I slid off of the table. No reaction. What was he thinking? Reaching back, I went to grasp the newspaper, as I’d planned, but at the first crinkle, he suddenly had me by both wrists.

_Oh fuck, oh no-_

I hurriedly attempted to ball up the thing into my fist to hide what it said, the front page tearing off in my hand, my body turning to cover it, more worried about that than about what he was trying to do to me. Through my panic, I realised he had stopped moving. Peeking up at him, I found his face in perfectly clarity for the first time. He was staring at my balled-up fist, head tilted in what appeared to be confusion. His eyes slowly shifted to look at me. Dark pools indeed, deep and intense. I couldn’t look away. Abruptly, he released me, swiftly leaving. I staggered a little back onto the table, watching him leave, only releasing my held breath once he’d gone out of sight. My heart pounded, but I weakly acknowledged that it wasn’t entirely from fear. Pale as moonlight, lips set hard but ample. Michael was...handsome to me.

Newspaper still clutched tight, I headed down to my room, intending to stash it away under my bed, unsure of why I didn’t just destroy it. Why did he grab me like that? Did he think I was going to roll up the newspaper and smack him over the head with it or something? I chuckled internally, but that was the only explanation I could actually think of. Sinking back onto the mattress, I realised that probably really was it. He’d realised I knew who he really was now, so he was expecting an attack.

_Poor thing..._

_No, what? Not poor thing! He grabbed me; he might have wanted to hurt me!_

But somehow, I think I was correct.

——

Out of caution, I decided to keep my distance a little from Michael for a while, but for days my eyes kept following him, blatantly staring at him from my end of the canteen. I couldn’t focus on anything else. Things in here slowly fell into a routine - I ate, I read, I went to therapy, and I stared at Michael. My heart jumped as I felt he just barely turned one eye toward me for a second, then went right back to looking ahead. I didn’t realise it, but I was smiling.  
  
I was certain that he hadn’t seen anything from the paper while I scrunched it, he was staring at my hand because of what it was doing, not at what it said. At least, that’s what I figured.

He left and shortly after I finished my toast, deciding to go out to the courtyard. I was trying not to follow the guy around as I was before anymore, I was just keeping an eye on him when I saw him. I had been kicking myself for doing that before. I’d been following him around out of curiosity, chasing after a guy like I’d done as a kid in high school, trying to regain that kind of normalcy again in here. But I didn’t even know him. It was dangerous to do that. Crossing my legs on a bench, I looked up at the warm blue sky. I didn’t know how to feel about what he’d done, considering that I... Well, let’s just say that I felt pity, which probably wasn’t the normal reaction.

“Yo, what’s up?”

Startled, I instinctively scooted away as someone dropped themselves down next to me.

“What’s up?” They asked again.

It was a guy with pointy red hair and an equally pointy little beard. They shifted closer.

“You don’t talk much, huh?”

Somehow, I didn’t get great vibes from this guy. I got up to leave, but they yanked me back down by the arm.

“Yo, what’s your problem, bitch? I’m just trying to be nice? Why are you trying to run away from me huh-“

He was in my face, too close for comfort as I leaned away, trying to wrangle my arm back from his grip. His words blurred out as I stared at him, frozen, his eyes spitting anger.

_Don’t yell at me, don’t yell at me-_

His rant suddenly stopped and he turned away from me.

“You got a problem too, huh?!”

_What?_

Another, paler, arm reached out and fastened tightly around the wrist holding mine, making it go limp. A crunch, a scream, then another hand came out right over the redhead’s face and he was flung right over the bench, landing metres away from me. A large shadow stepped in front of me, facing away toward the redhead.

_Michael!_

I was pleased to see him, I found, my heart jumping, distantly noting that he hadn’t been that rough when grabbing _my_ wrists – barely having left a bruise. Far off yelling reached my ears and I peeked round Michael to see guards rushing at us. Instinctively, I took his arm, not even thinking, trying to pull him away to run. He half stepped back, apparently not expecting that, before planting himself like a statue, taking his arm back. He shook his head slightly, indicating back toward the guards. He was taking the fall for this, shielding me from their view. There was no point in escaping. My gaze flashing from him to the guards, seeing them getting closer. I panicked, zipping away around the wall, out of sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3 any (more) tips on how to write the main char would always be welcome btw, and any prompts for the direction of things would be good too :')
> 
> Btw do any of you play DBD? I recommend it if you like Halloween :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter TW: Brief mention of suicide and abuse. 
> 
> I don't usually add TW's but eh, figured why not. 
> 
> Sorry this is so late! I was struggling to make it longer, I try to aim for 3k words, but tbh this is the best point to end the chapter at.

_I want to kill myself._

_I want to kill myself._

_I want to kill myself._

'Get up, you worthless piece of shit.'

_I want to...kill._

\--

It had been three days since I'd seen Michael, and my murky nightmares from before I'd arrived here had resumed, coming in snippets of the past - not even allowing myself to acknowledge it all when unconscious. They had started soon after _it_ all passed, sporadically, I couldn't predict when they'd hit me, but now I realised Michael was a bigger distraction than I'd thought. Without something to divert my attention to, I found myself feeling swallowed in here. What they could be doing with him also worried me, and what they could do to me. Could _have_ , if he hadn't intervened. Feeling trapped was a feeling I was all too familiar with, but it isn't something you ever really get over. You may feel nice and cosy floating in the breeze as if you were in a summery hammock when actually in a spider's web, but you can only fool yourself for so long. 

Loomis had noticed my agitation in our next session, commenting on how I was repeatedly tapping my foot. 

"What’s changed, I wonder?"

The way he spoke now had developed into him sometimes asking himself my questions, in a way, so as to not pressure me into speaking. I appreciated that. 

"Oh! I almost forgot."

I looked at him curiously as he shuffled behind himself for a second, producing a slim, little book the size of my palm. He handed it to me. 

“For you, so that if you wish to tell anyone something, you could write it down, if you like, or draw things,” he explained. “It can be clipped onto your belt so that you can keep it with you.” 

I turned it over, finding the silver clasp and noting how there was a wrap-around button clip so that the pages can be kept together and not flap around while I walk. A pen was attached, tucked into the ring binder. I glanced up at Loomis, who had leaned forward, waiting for my reaction. I smiled a little. I found it rather thoughtful. Unbuttoning the clip, I turned to the fresh first page and took out the pen. I guess writing things might be...okay? Pen tip poised, I froze. Would it be? Loomis jumped in before my thoughts could spiral deeper. 

“It’s okay, no one is going to hurt you.” 

I looked up at him briefly, lips turning downward. I wasn’t used to this. 

“It’s okay, no pressure. You can do as much or as little as you want - a word or a sketch,” he coaxed. 

I didn’t even know what to write, really. He quieted while I stared at the page. After a little, I calmed and doodled some circle shapes around, not really thinking. This wasn’t too bad. I did like to draw. 

“If you’d like to tell me, briefly, what’s been on your mind?” 

I paused. A _word_ , he’d said. I supposed that couldn’t get me into trouble...right? Just one? I didn’t realise how hard I’d been staring at Loomis until he leaned back. I frowned, looking back to the page. I guess there was one word which could sum it up. 

“Michael?” Loomis read, blinking. “Which Michael...Myers?” 

I nodded. 

“Are you worried about him?” 

Another nod. 

“A lot of the inmates worry about him, but it’s okay, if you keep your distance nothing will-“ 

I shook my head roughly then, interrupting him as I realised he’d taken it the wrong way. He looked a little confused. 

“That isn’t why you’re worried? Then what did you...mean?” He trailed off a little. 

How was I supposed to explain this, exactly? Of course he didn’t get it, how could he get that I liked someone like that. That I was worried _for_ him. Unbeknownst to me, Loomis could clearly see the blush which formed over my cheeks - while his went pale. 

“You need to be careful. Michael isn’t nor-well, he won’t react the way you expect. He toys with people.” 

He...toys with people? What did _that_ mean? It stayed in my head the rest of the day. 

—-

I had found myself haunting the lower wing, just outside the carded section where they were keeping him, casually passing through initially to check, then pacing around more and more. I had tracked down the two fighters who had wound up in there previously in the canteen one day and they looked fine, so I supposed Michael would be too. Hopefully. The female guard I’d seen before seemed to be stationed in this ward. I came across her in one of my pacing sessions from afar but took off running, not wanting to see the judgement on her face. It struck me later that Loomis knew the whole story. He had to, to be working with me, but he wasn’t treating me like...

_Like a monster._

I pushed the thought away. If he wasn’t treating me badly, great, but psychiatrists are supposed to act a certain way, right? Though, he was mostly nice so far...

Finally, on the fourth day of morning pacing, biting my nails whilst lost in thought, the carded door suddenly squeakily swung open. I started, not expecting it. There he was!

“M-“ I surprised myself, the name sticking in my throat. 

He gave me a sidelong glance, continuing to walk by. 

“I’m not surprised the likes of you would have paired up.” 

I frowned, turning to see the same nurse from the fighters in the doorway, syringe in hand again. Her lip had curled up to match her hair. _Bitch._ Breaking into a swift stride, I got the hell away from that ward. I didn’t like the feel of her. Too observant, and it looked like she probably liked syringe-shanking people a bit too much. I couldn’t find Michael, and I wondered why he had basically ignored me. Though, I figured he knew the nurse was watching... 

_‘He toys with people.’_

But he saved me, didn’t he? 

I sighed, not locating him anywhere. Maybe he just wanted to be alone for a bit. I wanted to know what happened to him in there, but maybe I shouldn’t bombard him right out the gate. Retrieving my borrowed library book from my room, I went to read outside, but the words blurred in front of me as I overthought. What if he’s mad at me for getting him in there? What if they treated him so badly that he blames me? I tried to focus, giving it some time, but eventually snapped my book shut and decided to continue searching. 

_You know you’re stalking him, right?_

Ah, shut up. 

Eventually, my feet led me to the canteen. I was about to pass by, one foot held up mid-step, but there he was, sitting in his same spot, looking as if he’d been there the whole time. I almost laughed. Figuring I may as well stop in for dinner too, I queued up, one eye on him as I did so, almost stepping onto the heel of the person in front of me as we moved forward. Somehow, I felt he’d bolt if I didn’t watch him. Tray in hand, I left the queue, suddenly feeling shy as I stared at his back. I wanted to go and sit with him, but I figured since he apparently always ate alone, that might be an intrusion. 

_And there will probably be more assholes who have something to say about it._

Realising I was just standing frozen like a moron, I quickly dove onto the nearest bench. As I finished my food, I knitted my fingers together, leaning my chin on them. I wanted to try something, just to see if it would work. Circling around just outside to the nearest glass panel to Michael, I waited until his gaze half-shifted to me. I jerked my head, indicating for him to follow me. Leaving it to hope, I turned and started walking, slowly, so that he could catch up if he chose to. I felt giddy, half nervous. I wasn’t sure what I was doing. Heading upstairs, I went toward the therapy rooms, where we wouldn’t be seen. 

Refusing to look behind me, just in case of disappointment, I opened the nearest door, side stepping within. I froze as his body mirrored my movements, silently stepping inside with me, millimetres from brushing mine. I was suddenly shy, unable to look up as I felt the heat coming off of him as we stopped together. My gaze was stuck ahead at his solid chest, noting really just how much bigger he was than me. My cheeks had flushed red at the surprise proximity - and he wasn’t moving, as if it didn’t affect him at all. The only thing I was aware of was his soft, even breathing. I timidly snuck a glance up at him, finding he was staring directly down at me. My eyes widened a second and flicked back down, half stepping backward. He still did nothing, but I could feel his gaze on me. So...now what? I hadn’t thought this far ahead. Watching the light rise and fall of his chest, my mind flashed back to when I had brushed against it accidentally before. So hard... 

As if my hand had a mind of its own, I made to brush over it again. Before my fingertips could make contact, he had my wrist in his hand. Peeking up, I watched him tilt his head at me slightly. The grip was light. I don’t know where I got the sudden nerve, but I wanted to test what he’d do if I pushed further - so I took my other hand and attempted the same, keeping my eyes on his this time. Of course, he snatched my other wrist too, giving a little warning squeeze. I should have been afraid, I guess normal people would be, but instead I pouted up at him. His only reaction was to blink, but I read disbelief within it, his eyebrows raising a tad. He wasn’t expecting this kind of reaction either. How could people say _he_ never reacted? It’s subtle, but it’s right there. 

Coming to my senses a little, I took a step back, still connected. It was then that I noticed the bruises around his wrists. A gasp, and I shook out of his grasp to grab his hands instead, bringing them to me. He didn’t fight it, surprisingly, though he felt rather stiff. The bruises were thin, from handcuffs, I guessed, contrasting harshly against his pale skin. Did they keep him cuffed the entire time in there? How rough were they with him exactly? Instinctively, I went to trace them with my thumb but he pulled back a little. Maybe he didn’t know that I meant to soothe him. Maybe he didn’t know what that was? He’d been in here since childhood, after all. I felt like hugging him then, but had he even been hugged before? My intent might not come across well... 

“Lights out in ten minutes.”

I jumped at the sudden sound of the intercom, pulled out of my thoughts. I hadn’t even noticed the time. Michael turned to leave, going from stock still to a brisk walk, as if he were a now activated robot. I was a bit taken aback, but quickly followed after him. He was quite speedy for his large frame, it turned out. Heading down to the dorms behind him, I almost walked into him as I wondered in which wing he stayed in. He had suddenly stopped at the intersection between two, as if he were reading my mind. Half glancing over his shoulder at me, he turned and continued on to the right. Mine was on the left from here. That was his way of telling me. I watched his back for a second as he walked off. I felt I needed to show him I was grateful, that was essentially what I got him alone for in the first place. Those marks on him were my fault. Wait...the notebook! Unlatching it from my belt, I flipped to a clean page, roughly scribbling as I rushed after him. Jamming the pen back into the side coil, I reached out to tap his back just as his hand landed on the dorm door. He towered over me as he turned completely around, as if to ask ‘now what,’ but his posture seemed to relax as I held up the notebook to him. 

‘Thank you.’ 

His eyes travelled over the words then back to mine. He tilted his head slightly, shrugging, as if it to say ‘no big deal.’ But it was to me. I smiled up at him brightly and spun round, scampering back to my own dorm. Behind me, he watched as I went out of sight, confused. His lips twitched slightly at the corners, wondering about my expression. He hadn’t had _that_ aimed at him before. Not genuinely. Not in a long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ^_^ any suggestions are welcome~
> 
> Btw I didn't know till last week that Bookmarks on here don't email you on chapter updates for a story, gotta Subscribe, what's the point of Bookmarks LOL. But yeah, thought I'd say in case y'all didn't know either :')


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyoooo wassup guys, here it finally is LOL. I felt I went a bit too quick in the last chapter and wanted to find a way to slooow that back down here, so I made it a plot point. Don't worry though, I know where to heat it up again real soon~ ;D Enjoy!

There were no nightmares tonight, and maybe I imagined it, but the next morning I could have sworn I heard a soft click right before I opened my eyes. Staring suspiciously at the door, I sleepily dragged myself over to it and peered down the hall. Nothing. Hm, strange. I had found that once you showed a record of good behaviour, they no longer locked you in every night. I was glad for it; it made the place feel less like a prison - but I suppose they didn’t really factor in that others could get into your room too. However, I had a sneaking suspicion of who it could be.

The rest of the dorm was quiet. It was still early to be up, but I decided I may as well stay awake. Today, I had another early therapy session. I could go barge in on Loomis for once, see how he likes it. I decided I’d do exactly that. Sneaking upstairs and putting my ear to the therapy room door, I checked for any rustling inside, and signs that there was no other patient. Yep, he was alone. Busting the door open, I strode in and confidently dropped myself onto the armchair, casually leaning back. Loomis was taken by surprise all right. He was in the middle of writing something and ended up juggling his pen, almost dropping it. It took all my strength to hold in my laugh, even more so when he actually had the nerve to say I should have knocked. How ironic. I decided I’ll probably keep this up until he learns to do it himself. The therapy session itself was mostly more of the same. I found writing little things here and there comfortable now, but I didn’t want to say too much. I found my mind wandering a bit as Loomis spoke. What he’d previously said about Michael still bothered me a bit, and I wondered if he’d answer more about it. Interrupting his speech about whatever, I scribbled a couple words and handed him the notebook.

“‘Toys with people?’” Loomis read, pausing as he peered back up at me from his own quote. “You want to know more about that.”

I nodded and he sighed, rubbing a weary hand over his face. He didn’t like me bringing up Michael, apparently.

“It’s confidential, so I can’t give out details on that, so let’s just say that some things...happened.”

That was a bit of a disappointing answer, but it only made me more curious... _What_ things?

After the session, I shuffled down the hall, sleepiness catching back up to me. I wasn’t looking where I was going, eyes on my hip while reattaching my notebook to my belt loops. An unexpected barge to the side came as I rounded a corner, nearly bonking me into the wall.  
  
“Oh my god! Are you okay? Sorry, I didn’t see you coming.”  
  
It was the conspiracy theory dude, looking springy as ever. I gave him a nod, shrugging. He fell into step with me.  
  
“Are you going to the canteen? I’m Jerry by the way, I didn’t catch your name last time?”  
  
I side-eyed him. He seemed harmless enough. I snapped my book open, squiggling my name for him.  
  
“The silent type, huh?”  
  
He came across as a little over eager, and my mind swept back to when he had said he knew everything around here. Guess he had to find things out somehow. I figured that maybe...I could use that to my advantage. Michael wasn’t around for breakfast, and I was somewhat relieved - considering what I was about to do. Settling myself across from Jerry, I listened as he jabbered about this and that. He sure had some wild ideas, but he seemed to appreciate how I paid attention to it all, nodding along. He was a chatty guy, and I supposed not everyone could deal with it. I waited until he took a breather to eat and I quickly jotted a question down before he could move on to another subject.  
  
“Oh, what’s that you’re writin’?” He asked, tilting his head to get a better angle. “That’s right, I know everything around here alright!” His chest puffed up as he read that. I figured it would be a point of pride.  
  
Nodding in agreement, I then went in, carefully steering the conversation towards Michael and what he’d done in here.  
  
“So, you’ve heard about that, huh?” Jerry chirped. “It’s kinda the talk of the town in here. Not many famous dudes get in here, you know.”  
  
Well, I supposed it wouldn’t be too difficult to find it all out after all. I just hoped I wouldn’t be counted as one of those ‘famous dudes’ too, considering I’d made the papers.  
  
“So, there was this kid called Tony,” Jerry began, speaking in between nibbles of fried egg. “Bit of a dickhead, really, violent. Used to try and mess with Myers. He never reacted, just moved to other areas. Dude ended up with a crayon lodged in his brain. No one saw but we all know who did it - figure he walked Tony somewhere he wouldn’t be seen.”  
  
I leaned in as he continued and he mirrored me, leaning into me too, his speech lowering to whispery like he’s sharing secrets.  
  
“Deserved it, if you ask me. But then there’s this other kid, Adrian. It was Myers’ birthday, and this dude comes along and sneaks away with the whole birthday cake. They found him burned up in the shower rooms.”  
  
Maybe I had a messed up sense of humour, but that was kind of funny to me. Don’t mess with Michael’s cake, got it.  
  
“Other incidents too. Some guy ending up choking to death on his tongue out of nowhere, some ‘accidentally’ taking a fall. It’s why we have reinforced glass upstairs now.”  
  
From what I gathered, it wasn’t Michael toying with people - it was them toying with him and receiving the consequences. I understood Loomis’ concern now, but I had no intentions of being a _dick_ to Michael - so things may go differently, and so far, it’s been fine, hasn’t it?  
  
Jerry didn’t push me to speak, or bug me for any information in return, surprisingly. According to him, there were quite a few silent residents, so he was used to it. His chattiness and my quiet listening worked well, and somehow, I felt a little more comfortable in the place after having 'spoken' to him. He sounded notably sane when speaking about things that were actually factual, or at least that’s what I gathered that they were – facts. Actually, now that I thought about it, he did sound sane overall, maybe he was just good at presenting things that might be nonsense as facts? I wasn’t sure, but I figured the little Michael anecdotes were true. Maybe after knowing him better, I’ll be able to discern what’s bullshit and what isn’t. Or maybe I’ll ask Michael about it myself some time.  
  
Though, I didn’t see Michael the entire day. I could have sworn I felt the prickle of eyes on me a couple of times, but I did not see him anywhere. I wondered if perhaps I’d weirded him out a bit by trying to touch him. Probably. Mentally, I kicked myself. That was kind of an odd thing to try to do. Pouting, I dragged myself down to my dorm room, planning to sleep early to make up for being up so early. Flopping down, I thought back to this morning and the soft click I’d heard. That was probably just part of a dream, right? I didn’t see anyone.  
  
However, I could have sworn that the next morning it happened again. Grumbling, I shuffled over to my door and threw it open. My eyes were bleary with sleep and after one blink, the shadow I thought I saw rounding the corner disappeared. I didn’t get any sense of danger or ill intent from this, weirdly enough. Although it wasn’t clear, I was certain I couldn’t be losing my mind...right? Someone was actually watching me, and I had a good idea who. Now, I just had to figure out why they’d do that - and then why ignore me the rest of the time?  
  
I spent what felt like the majority of the day trying to track down Michael. At this point, I felt maybe I needed to apologise to him or something. I could sense him around, and in the corners of my eyes I saw him speedily leaving a couple of times just as I looked up from whatever I was doing in-between. What was up with that? It was as if he wanted to watch me, but not interact. What a strange guy. It reminded me of what Jerry had said about Michael ‘leading’ that other guy somewhere just to kill him, and I involuntarily shivered at the thought. Surely he wasn’t that upset with me. Having stopped to take a reading break in the library, I settled onto a red couch by the windows. It didn’t take long for the back of my neck to prickle and I peered down to see him in the courtyard, giving me a sense of déjà vu. My eyes met his for a split second before he again rushed away. I snapped my book shut, walking sideways alongside the glass walls as I carefully noted where he was headed. I didn’t feel afraid of him, or what he could be leading me into, I only felt playful adrenaline as I dashed downstairs and across the building. It was like a game of cat and mouse, but I wasn’t stopping to think which one I really was right now. I just wanted catch him. Calculating where he was about to step out, I skidded across the hall, right as he was about to walk this way.  
  
“Aha!” I blurted, triumphant, instinctively shooting my arm out to point at him.  
  
He looked almost as surprised as I felt. It wasn’t quite a _word_ , but that was the closest to speaking I’d really come to in here. In any other circumstances, I think I’d have withdrawn into myself at having done so, and I did freeze for a second, finger shaking slightly as it remained outstretched, but considering how happy I felt with my tracking skills right now, all it did was bring me down a couple notches.  
  
 _I’ll think more about that later. Maybe._  
  
Michael appeared to be hovering between disappearing and staying put, probably a bit taken aback I assumed, but he stopped as my arm lowered. It was subconscious, but I brought it close to myself, settling against my chest, as if it were a guard. I walked over to him, slowly, so that he wouldn’t run off. Settling across from him, I smiled gently up at him, somewhat as a thank you for staying. His head tilted. My behaviour was strange to him. I wasn’t walking over to him like that, cautiously, out of fear - he could tell, and again that _smile_. He didn’t understand what it meant to him yet, he just knew he’d never really seen that before.  
  
I observed him as he stood still, staring down at me. He really did have a heavy aura. I felt so small. Testing how he’d react, I motioned for him to come with me, looking back over my shoulder this time to make sure. He stood still for a minute and I wilted a little, feeling unsure. Unclipping my notebook from my belt, I wrote ‘Library?’ and showed him. Leaning forward a little to read it, he peered up over the page at me, intense as ever, before nodding. I beamed up at him, cheerfully leading the way. Although I missed it, his eyebrows had shot up briefly at that. He could tell that was genuine. I could feel his eyes boring into the back of my head as we walked and looked back, finding he wasn’t shy at all about meeting my gaze. I slowed my pace a bit so we could walk more or less in line, allowing me to sneak peeks at him as well.  
  
Reaching the library, I walked him over to the centre. There was a little area for groups with beanbags scattered around. Facing him, I sat back onto one. Still standing, he stared at me. It did cross my mind here just how much lower down I was now compared to him, and my gaze flitted down his body before flicking away. The sudden redness of my cheeks confused him, what that was and _why_. Gesturing for him to sit, he did so, looking humorously out of place as a giant on the tiny, squished bag.  
  
We then stared at each other, my eyes roaming over his features, completely still across from another. Somehow, it felt comfortable, like we’d been building up to this. I smiled a little, taking my notebook from its clasp. I had been planning to introduce myself for a while. Writing my name for him, I passed it to him. He stared down at it then back at me. I noted how his right hand stilled. Eventually, he held out his palm to me. Blinking, I hadn’t thought that he would actually write something for me, the pen still poised in my hands. I passed it to him, just barely brushing fingers, and shuffled closer to see what he’d say.  
  
‘Michael.’  
  
I nodded, eyebrows risen a little, telling him that I knew that. But of course, he already knew that I knew. He didn’t have to write it at all, but this made it an official two-way introduction - and showed me that he had some manners.  
  
I wondered back to last time and how I’d planned to apologise to him. He didn’t look mad at me now, but maybe it would stop him disappearing so much if I still did.  
  
‘Sorry if I spooked you,’ I wrote.  
  
Michael stared at the page for a long time. It was entirely odd for him to read that, when really he was the one who “spooked” people. Apologies weren’t a common thing for him to receive either. Together, he had no idea what to make of it. When he finally looked at me, I could see the bewilderment. I motioned to touch him, hovering my fingers a little from his chest before withdrawing. He tilted his head. Perhaps I’d overthought things after all? Finally, he shrugged. He understood what I was trying to say, even if it was a little difficult without words. This type of communication relied heavily on tiny nuances of expression and eye contact, something of which others feared within his dark stillness. I hadn’t clocked onto it yet, but this was entirely why people didn’t get him. You have to pay attention in an entirely eagle-eyed way.  
  
The touch itself hadn’t bothered him exactly, or “spooked” him, in fact, he'd basically forgotten it already. He just wasn’t used to touch which wasn’t an attack. By apologising for it, he began to wonder what exactly it meant. What was the point of touching him? I couldn’t see all this process in his mind, I just knew that after this we had connected.  
  
I didn’t ask if whether or not my sleep visitor was him, as somehow, I felt excited. I wanted to see if I could catch him at it, like I did today, and had a plan to do just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, hope ya liked it. :D Feel free to comment some ideas for the direction of this story, I have an end game in mind (not for some time yet) but need some in-between bits to think up. 
> 
> Btw, this might accidentally have two end notes sections like in the last chapter? Not sure why it did that. O_o'


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE WE GOOO.
> 
> Finally, here's the next chapter. I was going through some crap so stopped writing for a bit. I tried to keep Mikey in character so things hint at getting dark here. 
> 
> Enjoy ;D

Chapter 5

The sleep visitor continued to come and watch over me. For days, I tried to catch them at it, but as soon as I opened my eyes they were gone. Finally, on one day, I sat up quickly enough that I found my door left ajar by half an inch. So I wasn’t imagining things after all. Fuelled with determination to catch them now, all of the night’s fatigue left me and I strode down the hall and up and out of my dorm. Of course, I saw nobody, but this time my feet carried me all the way over to Michael’s dorm. I hesitated at the door, not yet knowing if we were even allowed into other dorms, but a quick peek around showed no one was up yet, so I was going to risk it. 

Slowing my pace to quieten my footsteps, I peered into the glass atop the doors, mostly seeing sleeping figures. Reaching right to the end, I stopped before the last door. There was no one else’s it could be, unless I somehow got the dorm wrong. I held my breath and peeked inside. Whether or not he was awake could give me a clue as to whether or not it was him. And sure enough, he was. Looking straight at me, Michael laid back casually on his bed, legs outstretched atop his covers. So it was him then! I pushed the door, only then finding it was...locked? That meant it couldn’t be him, right? He can’t get out. It made sense, with how recently he was put into isolation from the fight, he would be locked in for a while. 

At my confusion, Michael raised an eyebrow and I could have sworn I saw a flicker of a smirk. Well, that’s suspicious. What if he had some way of getting out? Could he pick locks? While I was busy thinking, I became aware of how he’d silently raised his arm to point away from me, toward the front of the dorm. What was that supposed to mean? Was he telling me to get out? How ru- But then, I heard voices approaching and the jingling of rusty keys. I froze. Maybe I wasn’t allowed in here after all. Panicky, I looked around for somewhere to hide, finding a little cleaning closet. I had to crouch down in order to not bump my head, but I just about fit, closing the door right as footsteps started to near. The guards rounded up all the locked in residents, Michael at the end of the line, and marched them out. I quickly exited after, hearing how the others had started to rouse from their sleep. 

I followed after them to the canteen, watching Michael take his food and head to his usual seat. Grabbing mine, I paused, tray in hand. Screw it. I marched over to his table and dropped down across from him. Slowly, Michael looked up from his dish. No annoyance detected, I stared back at him, almost defiantly. I wasn’t letting him sneak away from earlier. A tiny smirk flashed over his lips again, telling me that they were sealed. He broke eye contact, casually returning to his meal. 

The canteen was nearly empty this early in the morning, only the locked-ins really were around. Only as they started to finish up, others started entering. It made sense, as the locked-ins generally would be the most dangerous, best to avoid crossing paths. Nearly finished, I noticed Jerry approaching through the glass behind Michael. He spotted me and did a double take, eyes darting from me to Michael, mouthing a concerned ‘Are you okay?’ I nodded, smiling reassuringly. He sent me a look of disbelief, crossing his arms. Michael noticed how my attention had shifted, slowly turning around. At that, Jerry ducked down out of sight and bolted. Amused, I shook my head at Michael as he turned back to me inquisitively. Part of me was unnerved by the guy’s reaction. I stared at Michael, almost through him, until he tilted his head at me. I didn’t see what Jerry clearly did. He wouldn’t have an issue with me being pals with Jerry, would he? 

Following him out after breakfast, we headed upstairs to the library again, out of sight of the others. It was silently acknowledged between us that it may be troublesome to be seen together too much. We weren’t exactly social regardless, so the barely used library was perfect. 

'Do you like to read?' I wrote for him, gesturing around us. 

He shrugged, taking my pen. 'Sometimes.' 

'Which type of books?' 

He paused, then headed over to a shelf. I looked over his shoulder. It was the... medical section? He pointed to one book, then another, and I tilted my head to read the spines. Human anatomy and surgery. I blinked, not expecting that. I guess that _does_ count as reading. My eyes swept over his back as he walked away to sit back down. I followed him, curious. That was an unusual choice. 

'Why those? Did you want to be a doctor?' I wrote. 

Michael stiffened, not looking at me. He almost imperceptibly briefly shook his head and quickly left. I was taken aback. I upset him? Why? It took me a beat, but the reason why he liked that kind of thing then hit me. Actually, ‘like’ may not be it at all. These were the types of books that you study, research. He used them to research how the body works. He used them to research ways to _kill_. At least, that was the first bad thought that came to me. Maybe it was the case, or maybe he just found anatomical science fascinating. Or both.   
  
Both... I found then that I was beginning to see him in a different way. He wasn’t a soulless creature, like most say, but he wasn’t innocent at all either. I supposed in a sense he did get pleasure out of murder, and those books gave him new creative ideas. Of course he’d get upset with what I asked, as it assumed the complete opposite of him, it assumed too... good of him. I had mixed feelings about it, but a side of me was even more curious. What goes through the head of someone like that? The fact that he researched it showed his intelligence. He planned ahead, premeditated. He was _dangerous_. But, I foolishly felt drawn to it. I figured now was the time to tell him too about what I did. He’d get it, and he’d get that I get it. That side of me was something I pushed down and away from me, but part of me craved for someone to not look at me with disgust once knowing it - and he wouldn’t, I just knew. Lost in my thoughts, I almost walked right into Jerry, who skidded into my path. He took me by the shoulders.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you? Were you being held hostage?” 

I backed up out of his unexpected grip, putting my hands up to stop his ramble. 

I took out my notebook. ‘Really, I’m okay. We’re friends.’ 

Jerry blinked several times at the words. “Girl, you crazy.” 

I laughed loudly at that. 

“Dude, it’s not funny!”

But I just laughed louder. Yeah, maybe I was after all. Jerry looked at me with exasperation but ended up joining me in the chuckles. It slipped past me how it was my first real laugh, but I felt lighter not holding back. Once it died down, Jerry looked at me seriously. 

“I’m your friend too, okay.” 

I nodded, I understood what he was saying, that if there was trouble I can tell him. It was nice, knowing someone had my back in these things. 

—

There was no nightly visitor for a while, and Michael basically fell off the earth. It must have been him, I figured, now I’d driven him away. It was frustrating that no matter where I looked, I couldn’t find him. It was lonely. Although, not entirely. Jerry was a welcome solace. It wasn’t quite the same, and it was more of a surface level cheery friendship, but it was a great distraction. Being around Jerry made me feel almost normal, as if I were back in college catching lunch with a friend between classes. He’d chat to me about the gossip in the place, about any new patients, whether or not they were cute, etc. The guy had his moments, but weirdly enough he was one of the sanest ones in here. Unlike Michael, he made me forget what I did. It felt like going back to who I was before, not who I’d become. 

_Not who I really was._

I shook the thought away, but it was often there while Jerry was lost in his bright monologues - that he probably wouldn’t talk to me at all if he really knew about me. 

Today was an extra bright day, so we’d headed out to the courtyard, settling on a bench under the shade of a tall tree. Jerry was mid-sentence when I vaguely registered what sounded like the click of heels coming up to us.

“Excuse me, you’re in my seat.” 

I found the sun was blocked by a bodacious blonde, her large breasts basically swinging in my face as she stood over me. I raised a brow, leaning back. Her hair was long, smoothed back by a hand with sharp, vividly pink nails. I wondered where she’d managed to find nail polish in here. The white outfit we all wear was somehow more form fitting on her, as if she’d had it altered. The clicking, I found later, was from a tiny platform wedged onto her shoes. A couple other girls were by her side.

“Excuse me, are you deaf?” The pink nails snapped in my face. I didn’t like that. 

Before I could respond, I felt Jerry take my arm, taking me away from the bench. 

“Nice to see you too, Mikaeyla.” He said, attempting to diffuse things. I was in no mood for it. 

She smirked at me as I glared back over my shoulder, making a grand show of stretching her legs out and crossing them once she took my place. I flipped her the bird as soon as we were far enough. 

“Oi, stop that!” Jerry lowered my hand. “That’s the Claw, you know. Piss her off and she’ll jab your eyes out.” 

I sent him a disbelieving look. If anything, I’ll be calling her the Bitch. 

‘How are those nails allowed?’ I wrote for him. 

“Apparently they grow at a mad speed or something,” he shrugged. 

What was she, some weird nail-growing villain? 

‘And the colour?’

“Oh, you don’t know about trades yet, huh.” 

Jerry went on to explain. Apparently, being in here could be a lot like prison in terms of contraband. A lot of things got smuggled in. You could order legal things in too, if you had the money, then trade those for not so legal. Curious, I asked Jerry to take me to the ordering post. It was a tiny counter with glass in front. A sign hung next to it, listing all the things which would be provided to us monthly for free, such as toothpaste, soap, etc. and so not to ask for free replacements of those. A gangly older man sat on the other side, eyeing me up and down, slowly chewing something in a manner which reminded me of a goat. 

“Something you want, young lady?” 

I shook my head automatically, turning back around to go. I hadn’t thought that far, I just wanted to see where it was. But then, a thought occurred to me. Peering back around, I didn’t see any more lists, so I scribbled down a note for the man, asking which type of items can be ordered. He flicked his eyes from the notebook back up to me. 

“Only the legal. Nothing which can be used to choke yourself with. No strings, laces, you know. Nothing ridiculous either, no phones or nerf guns.” 

Well, that didn’t really narrow it down, as that was obvious. 

‘Books?’ I wrote. 

“Usually the librarian upstairs deals with those, Missy.” 

For one thing, the librarian never seemed to be around. Trying to stop my frown before it showed, I quickly jotted the word ‘new’ down. 

“Yep, still her department. Gotta make sure it isn’t a banned or double before you order, ya see.” 

I nodded, understanding. So I needed to get a stamped note from them before ordering. As it turned out, they were only around a couple days a week, one of which would be tomorrow, seeing as the library was mostly a dead zone. I wasn’t sure I’d even order any with the amount it already had, but my feet found themselves heading there to double check what the current selection held. Romance, History, a notable lack of Horror, Science... My eyes brushed over the books Michael had previously pointed out. Hmm...

In the morning I sleepily trudged over, curious what this librarian would be like. Without much to do around here without Michael, little things like this were interesting. Scanning the place, I again saw no one. Great. Maybe I was too early. Sighing, I lowered myself onto my haunches in front of the Mystery section. 

“Not much there, eh?” 

I started, almost falling onto my butt. The voice came from above me - atop a ladder in the next row. “Haven’t seen you before, have I?” 

Shaking my head in reply, I dusted myself off, standing. Glancing back, I found it was true. With Horror apparently not allowed, it became clear to me why Michael hadn’t much to read. I imagine that would have also given him ideas. However, murder mystery stories were the closest thing. Maybe this was a dumb idea, but I turned back to the young brunette, holding my notebook up for her after writing. 

“You want to order some?” She read, creakily descending the ladder. 

Nodding enthusiastically, I followed her to the front desk, a certain book coming to mind. Dark themed, but just about light enough to pass as Mystery over Horror. I hoped it would be passable in here. 

“Interesting choice,” she hummed, stamping onto a pink slip. “Here you go.” 

Half bowing in thanks, I whooshed out and down to order, more and more certain this would bring Michael’s attention back to me. As the days passed while I waited for it, however, I began to question whether I would be rousing a sleeping wolf by giving him a book like this. He’d been here a long time, so I’m sure the other books in there were something he’d have poured over already. So on that hand, maybe he’d like something new which wasn’t science, on the other maybe it wasn’t his thing. But maybe, just maybe, if my theory for why he liked the science books was correct, I would literally be handing him more unique ways to kill. A shiver tingled through me. Why wasn’t I afraid of this? 

_You know why._

Shaking my thoughts away, I waited patiently for the book to arrive. When it did, I kept it until evening when the dorms were just about to close for sleep. Most were inside their rooms long before that. Sneaking over to Michael’s dorm, I listened for the guards to leave after putting away the locked-in’s and dashed in as the ten minute lights out warning sounded. About to slide the book under his door, I paused, nervous. Deciding to leave a note with it, I scribbled ‘I understand, try this.’ After a second of indecision, I jotted a tiny heart next to the message and slipped it under. I felt silly, almost blushing at that as I dashed back to my own room before pitch black hit. 

I hadn’t noticed Michael staring at me from the other side from the dark, head tilting as he watched me bite my lip as I wavered. He eyed the gift, curious, immediately knowing it wasn’t a book he’d seen around before. Right before full darkness, he managed to catch the added message. 

—

Maybe it was because I hadn’t seen Michael for a while, or maybe not, but another nightmare hit me that night. One of those which comes out of nowhere, for no reason, no matter how happy I may have been. 

_Maybe it wasn’t about being happy._

When they weren’t repeating a memory, there was sometimes one recurring theme in these - repeating in the last thought I had right before I was dragged from my sleep. 

_“WHY are you alive again?”_

I sat straight up, mind muddled, registering vaguely in the back of my mind that I had been shaken awake. Vision blurred, I found I was staring right into dark, still pits which calmed me, my breath slowing down. In my disoriented state, I didn’t immediately clock that these were eyes, or even real for a minute. Under other circumstances after a nightmare, I’d retreat from whoever was there. 

Michael didn’t back up at all, only tilt his head and lightly push me back, palm at the top of my chest below my neck, snapping me back to reality. His hand felt warm, large, and I felt a startled blush rush to my cheeks as my eyes flicked from him to it. He didn’t seem to have any idea that that wasn’t quite the correct location to touch a woman. It didn’t yet move from me, but in my post sleep state I didn’t question why. I was still close to him, within kissing distance, and my eyes wandered back up to his lips. As I was about to lean closer, I felt his hand brush further up to my neck and very lightly squeeze. I stilled, not understanding what the hell he was doing, until I saw the note I’d written for him in his other hand. Ah. 

Fully awake, I realised he was angry - just a little - and his question was clear: 

What do you understand?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope ye liked it ^_^ I wanted to portray Michael as a bit rougher. I could make him gentle all the time but we gotta lead to other stuff somehow ;P
> 
> If y'all want to, please feel free to donate here as a tip for my writings: https://ko-fi.com/ravendancer 
> 
> I'll keep writing this regardless but it def will make me write faster I'd say LOL. I'm testing it as I'd like to go into commission writing eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If this gets a fair amount of attention I'll get on writing more, I'm not sure how popular this will be.
> 
> Btw sorry if my paragraphs are weird? I'm used to writing tiny ones and had to go back and clump them together so that they look better when reading. I hope they came out fine enough.


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